i bet lilith and brick got him that bloodwing egg
just sat it next to him while he was passed-out from drinking and shoved him awake
i bet he cried
Excuse me while I go to Canada to get some beavers to clog the river of tears streaming down my face.
The Vikings knew what’s up
Expanding on that, from the cited source:
The Vikings kept cats for their valuable skills as mousers as well as keeping cats for pets. Kittens were sometimes given to new brides as an essential part of setting up a new household. It is especially appropriate that brides should receive cats, since cats were associated with Freyja, the goddess of love. The Vikings believed that Freyja rode a cart drawn by a team of cats. It might seem absurd to imagine a cart drawn by cats, until one realizes that Viking cats were not your standard Felis domesticus — they were the Skogkatt (Norwegian, meaning literally “Forest Cat”), a wild breed native to the North. In Denmark, these cats are called Huldrekat (huldre are female forest spirits, literally, “the hidden folk”). The Skogkatt is a large breed, known for their strong bones and muscular forms.
I love the image of a chariot pulled by cats.
EVERYONE STOP WHAT THEY’RE DOING AND IMAGINE A VIKING AU FIC WHERE THOR GIVES SIF KITTENS
y’know it doesn’t even have to be an AU amirite?
Noting also the quite realistic context that it would take a deity to get cats to do work. Still more so as a team. :)
Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate youDay 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbagMonth 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRRMonth 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? PleaseMonth 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.Year 1: One down. 17 to go…Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEARTYear 3: Oh thank god that’s overYear 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shitYear 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS
Not the normal submission I know but I felt the need to share. All I can say is that I feel bad for the robin that had to make that drink.
Reblogging because I like making Alan cry
Wait, I think I’ve heard of this! It’s like this urban legend among Starbucks barristas - supposedly, this guy came into a store when the place was dead, and asked how he could make the most expensive Starbucks drink possible. Supposedly, the barristas decided to take him at his word, and they constructed this monstrosity - each version I’ve heard has a different absurd ingredients list, but this might be the actual Patient Zero right here - just because they were bored and the guy was really cool about it. Apparently he left them a fucking awesome tip, too, which I could believe since he clearly had a wad of cash on him at the time (as evidenced by the “change due” at the bottom of the receipt).
So actually, rather than make me cry, I’m sorta happy to have evidence that this story might be real!
EDIT: Rachel pointed out the date on this, which is only a couple of days ago, and I was told this story months ago. So maybe… maybe this is a case of an urban legend coming true via the telling of it, and someone wanting to make it real? Either way - fascinating.
I like that there are urban legends about coffee in the barrista circle.
Like there’s a crazy caffeine Knight’s Templar mystery novel in the making, right there.